One of the things that I wanted to do while I was in Michigan recently was visit my Dads grave. It was an overcast day in the small town of Pontiac. My Step Mom, sister and I had just finished lunch and I asked them if they would mind taking me to the cemetery. I was actually fine as we circled the path towards him. I thought I was brave and I was…until…I got out and took those initial steps towards his grave. My heart began to pound and tears quickly flooded my eyes. At that moment I was just a little girl who wanted to see her Dad. But he’s not there.
It’s days like today when I feel overwhelmed by life that I wish I could pick up the phone and call my Dad and spill my guts. As a young child my Dad and I were as close as a Father and daughter could be. Unfortunately, we weren’t quite as close during my teen years because my Dad moved away when I was ten. But no matter the distance or the separate lives we led he was still my Dad. And I miss my Dad. I am normally the unyielding tenacious woman who bares all roles…the home, the wife, the children, the business, family complications and life’s uncertainty. I have always been good wearing all of those hats. Today however, I am not. Today I am sad. And today if my Dad were alive I would pick up this telephone and call him and cry my eyes out like a two year child old until my heart was content. I would tell him everything that is weighing heavily on my heart and I am certain that by the end of that conversation I would feel better. Lighter. Unfortunately, he’s not there.
So, I will wade through this pool of emotion today and hopefully by tomorrow I will be back to normal. Sometimes letting the tears fall is a good thing. A cleansing. I am human. Today I am not Suzy homemaker, supportive wife, super Mom, photographer, family mediator or eternal optimist. Today I am just a little girl who misses her Dad and wishes he was there! I love you Dad.
oh Dawn, my love bug…. wishing I was in arms distance from you for a big ol’ bear hug…. I love you Lady. <3
Awwww.. Dawn I’m sending you huge warm hugs for today it hurts so much to lost those we love but it’s so nice to rely on the wonderful memories we have with them to keep us going.
I wish I was there to hug your neck. I love you so very much and I have an ear for you any day ?
No question mark .. it was supposed to be a heart!
This just breaks my heart Dawn. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Never forget that your Dad is with you, and he will always live in all your wonderful memories. And what a blessing it is to have those memories….
in just one photo – you can see how much he adored you!
Dawn, I am crying for you. Sweet lady you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that your dad is looking down at you and smiling and through you his memory lives on. ((hugs))
It’s hard to hear of someone as wonderful as you being so unhappy, even if it’s only one day. No, you can’t call him up but you could write a letter. Sometimes that’s a cathartic way to get it out and heal up. *hugs* Hope tomorrow is a better day!!!
Oh Dawn. I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. The loss of someone so dear forever changes us. I never understood the saying “time heals all wounds” because that is a wound that just does not heal. I hope that your wonderful memories of your Dad will put a smile on your face. A great big hug to you.
Sending you BIG HUGS! I feel the same about my grandmother; I often wish I was 3 again, so I could curl up at night with her on those really old cotton mattresses. Your pain and loss is felt amongst many. You are not alone. You are loved!
Y’all are all so sweet and I am truly thankful for every comment on this post! Thank you all.
Oh Dawn, I am so sorry. If I were there I would give you a super big hug and bring you ice cream. I am so sorry your heart is so heavy. Love you.
Sending you hugs…sorry you are so sad. Love you girl!!
I just read this…somehow missed it earlier….you are an incredible woman. You love with such intensity. Love to you. I hope tomorrow (well, actually today) is a little less emotional.
I know he must have been proud of you! You are incredible Dawn! So much love in this post! Sending joy and happiness your way!